O.K. to be honest I was very annoyed with Google for blocking my site - it has been blocked for over six weeks now.
I felt discriminated.

This site was hacked on the afternoon of March 27th and within hours, Google hung up a sign to inform my readers that I was distributing malware. In actual fact each of my .html pages had been injected with a Java script which could attack Windows machines.
I took a careful look at my site (because Google told me I should) and discovered hundreds of pages which had been hacked and needed replacing. I did so within three hours of the attack.
Sadly I missed a couple of galleries, I'm afraid.

The problem is, it is impossible to communicate with Google. You send a request for them to rescan a site and get a message that it can take up to several weeks to do so ...
... but you never get an answer or a message to tell you that your site is or (in my case) still isn't o.k.
Then I found a scan result which stated that my site had been scanned last Wednesday and ...
... was distributing malware.

I opened up each and every single page that is openly online and checked.
Nothing.
Then I remembered some galleries that are linked to this blog - dormant and unused.
I checked them. They were a writhing mass of bugs!
I spent Thursday evening online checking each and every hidden directory and repaired over a hundred files.

If you feel that your computer has been compromised as a result of visiting my site, I would like offer my humble apologies.
I reacted as soon as I was notified but missed the galleries containing the pictures of the car cemetery, the cows under the trees and a few pages that are, as to date, still unlinked.
If you visited either the cars or the cows between 27th March and 14th May, then please check your (Windows – Macs remain unaffected) computer for malware.

I now have certification that my site is clean again!

Towers & Bay-Windows ...

St.Gallen is an interesting city.
A city of small towers and bay windows.
At the moment, it would seem, it is one big building-site too.
It is still, however, very photogenic.



The best time to take photographs is a Sunday morning between 09:00 and 10:00.
At this time of day the streets are freshly freed of the nights debris (groups of youngsters sit around at night drinking and smashing their empties – the cleaning troops arrive at around 05:00). The citizens of St.Gallen are listening to the sermon inside the cathedral.
You have the streets to yourself.

So here's the second picture, taken with the new lens ...
... not quite in focus, I'm afraid – still working on that!



To see the larger version, you will need to have QuickTime installed.
You will also need a little patience, it is quite large.

Why is it the second picture?
Because the first was taken in St.Gallen – here it is:


Focal length: 12 mm; Apperture: 8; Exposure: 250

There is no larger version of this one online yet, but I'm sure a new gallery will be published soon ...

On the phone ...

Me: I would like some clarification regarding duties paid on parcel number 'xyz'.
Her: Yes, Sir, how may I help?
Me: I would like to know why I had to pay CHF 99 duties for a used article.
Her: You didn't Sir. That was CHF 65 duties; CHF 18 fees; CHF 10 Storage and
CHF 6 because the parcel had to be opened.
Me: But I never had to pay duties on a used article before!
Her: In that case, Sir, you must have ticked the wrong boxes.
Me: Which boxes?!
Her: Of the customs declaration on the parcel.
Me: Come again – How can I tick boxes on a parcel I haven't received yet?
Her: In that case, the person who sent the parcel made the mistake.
Me: I would like to apply for the return of duties and fees.
Her: The fees can't be returned; you may apply to have the duties returned
but it will cost you CHF 30 in fees.
Me: O.K. Nice joke. Can you set the ball rolling for me?
Her: I'm not joking, you have to pay CHF 30, that leaves you with CHF 35.
You have to apply yourself.
Me: I am myself.
Her: You have to make a written application and return all of the papers.
Me: Look – you have everything you need on your screen at this very moment.
Would you please be kind enough to push the button marked reimburse for me.
Her: I don't have that button, you have to make a written application and
return all of the papers.
Me: But this is ridiculous.
Her: You have to make a written application and return all of the papers.
Me: But ...
Her: You have to make a written application and return all of the papers.
Me: Have you ever heard of rendition of services?
Her: You have to make a written application and return all of the papers.

Oops - I broke the phone, banging it on my desk!

For four years now, my apprentice has been training to be a Typograph/Media-Producer.
This week she had to take her practical examination.

It is interesting that in Germany they sent the exams along to the instructor with the request to make sure they were carried out correctly. In Switzerland, an 'expert' comes along to supervise.

The lady responsible for supervising our examinations first explained the exercises that were to be carried out and, when she was sure the instructions were clear, she pressed the button on her stop-watch.
She was a little put out that she couldn't sit next to the examinee, but the poor girl was nervous enough, without having a stranger breathing down her neck for two-and-a-half days.

Instead I seated our expert in the office opposite where she could see who went in and out, but couldn't actually see the apprentice without taking a few steps first. I certainly wasn't making life easy for her.
I gave her a coffee and watched her twiddle her thumbs and flip through her diary for a few minutes before I settled down to watch my protégé's screen from the comfort of my own computer, sending her the odd tip via chat now and again ...
You don't want someone to ruin four years hard work, just because they are nervous.

The Pre-Press exam is fairly straight-forward — unless, of course, you are a bundle of nerves:
• Colour-correction and exact cropping of three digital images; a picture composition put together from two images and a cut-out with some retouching work – 2 hours.
• Reproduction of a two-sided order-card to exact design 'drawings' – 4 hours.
• Design and production of a sixteen-page brochure, from initial scribbles (to be submitted) to finished print-data and presentation mock-up – 12 hours.
• Correct colour-profiles embedded in all files and everything saved to a CD after a specific file-structure.
After 19 hours points are deducted every 15 minutes taken, after 20 hours the exercise is broken off. Failure.

Every now and then, a colleague would distract the expert while a few tips were given or corrections suggested and during the midday break everything was checked and double checked. Another colleague made sure that the meal was drawn out a little ...

I heard of one young lady, who returned to her desk on Thursday evening after 'her' expert had left and spent half the night correcting and completing her work. We didn't have to resort to such drastic measures, we just spent a lot of time coaching and becalming ...

The mock-up presented a few problems because it had to be larger than A3 [420 mm x 297 mm]. The examination committee presumes that everybody has an A2 printer that wil print, bind and trim all in one go. Our A3 printer doesn't and is too small anyway!
I asked the expert to turn a blind-eye, while I helped produce the mock-up.
She did.

I got the thumbs up yesterday when I asked for the experts opinion on the results (I knew so anyway, but I wanted my protégé to see it).

Now we have to endure two days of theoretical exams. We can't help there, I'm afraid, those have to be taken at school ...

I'm sure you've read numerous reports about [lack of] Swiss hospitality and Customer Service and I'm sure you can remember that some sort of football championships were held here last year.
I told you what the results would be ...
... no, not the football results, but the result that Swiss courtesy would have on tourism – bookings have dropped by twenty percent.
Can that be coincidence?

Yesterday I asked a computer-supermarket-assistant where I might find a USB adapter set.
She shrugged her shoulders and told me she had no idea. Did she call a colleague and ask for help?
No.
I found what I wanted in the end after walking up and down endless rows of computer accessories.
This is just typical of what to expect when you visit Switzerland. Not just in shops but in hotels and restaurants too.
And does it end there?

I ordered three tubes of toothpaste in England. They were sent to me via Royal Mail and cost £14 including postage.
A week later a bill arrived from Swiss cutoms – CHF 60, an equivalent of £35!
I immediately phoned to complain and was informed that customs taxes are calculated by the size of the parcel.
I mentioned the fact that I had a receipt for CHF 20 which already included astronomically high VAT and was informed, in not so many words, that that was my bad luck!
I ordered a screw in the USA. Because it was custom made, it cost $60. Postage also came to $60.
Customs taxes? $60!
$120 for a single (albeit specialised) screw.

I am agog to know the result of my latest strife with Swiss customs.
Three weeks ago I bought a camera lens in an auction on ebay.
After a week, I contacted the guy I purchased from to ask if he'd actually posted the thing off. He assured me he'd sent it off with Royal Mail the same day.
I phoned Swiss Postal services - sorry, without a tracking number, we can't trace a parcel.
Last week I phoned again. No results.
The day before yesterday a letter flattered through my letter box. Swiss Post Customs Services.
A notice that they have a parcel for me which has been declared correctly to be a camera lens.

So my parcel has been sitting on a shelf in Zürich while someone has been trying to decide how to tax it. Due to the size of the parcel, it will probably cost me what – CHF 40? But on the customs label it states camera lens – surely a lens is worth a lot of money?

The letter invited me to state honestly (they are kidding, surely) the value of the contents and to provide proof in form of a receipt.
If I am unable to provide proof within five days, the parcel will be returned to sender.
I posted off the PayPal receipt the same day underlining the words 'USED LENS'.
I wonder how long I shall have to wait, when I might receive my parcel and which costs might be added for the unexpected act of actually having to handle a parcel.

Keep this up you wonderful Swiss and you won't just be losing tourists, you'll be losing tax-payers too ...