It took me a while, but now I realised why ...

Everyone here moves around like snails at the moment - avoid as much exertion as possible - it is too warm.
10:30 a.m. - the temperature outside is already up to 34°C and more to come.
And it has been like this for the last five weeks!

I have taken to getting up an hour earlier to go to work, because being on a motorbike at 'that' time of day is almost cold.
My social life has changed too. Even though the windows of my flat have been open all day long (please don't tell any burglars where I live), it is just too hot in there to spend any length of time after arriving home from work.
There is a permanent draught and my orchids have long since passed away because of it, but the draught is hot - it is like standing in front of a hairdryer!

To get away from the heat I have developed a new tactic. I drive down to the local lido (open-air-swimming-pool for those with the same vocabulary as my spell-checker) where the terrace is planted with chestnut trees - it is a dark and cool place and almost empty because those dressed in swimming trunks and bikinis pass over it as quickly as possible to avoid the 'cold'.
It is the ideal place to drink a refreshing wheat-beer and read a book.

Sadly they close at 8:00 p.m. and I have to set out for the next place with somewhere cool enough to sit.

The local bar has tables outside and the seats along the wall have been in shadow long enough by now to be bearable.
To sit on one of these seats for longer than 60 seconds involves ordering something to drink - preferably something alcoholic.

After an hour I have been updated on all of the local gossip, know that Miss X has a bun in the oven for the third time and is only sixteen and I can consider making my way home.

On my drive home my neighbours can be seen sitting outside their homes enjoying the cool of the evening.
We have all taken to spending as much time outside as possible, preferably under a large tree, just to avoid having to enter one of those unbearable buildings called homes.

We sit around chatting and every now and then, someone will venture inside to retrieve another bottle of wine.
Then at some point someone will exclaim 'Oh, look, it is (insert a very late time of your preference) o'clock!'
This is the signal for us all to rise and to return to our own homes.
And we hope, that tonight at least, it will be cool enough to be able to sleep!

Everyone here moves around like snails at the moment - avoid as much exertion as possible - I'm too tired to think and I have a hangover.