Punctual & Punctilious ...

All this talk about Swiss punctuality is codswallop!
They have leeway!

Take public transport for instance.
A train that enters a station two minutes late is still considered punctual!
However, a train that enters the station on time will leave on time - on the dot.
So if you yourself are a little late, don't bother running - it's not worth it.
Go and drink a coffee instead.

When visiting you are still considered to be punctual if you arrive up to a minute early or up to two minutes late!
So don't rush - you still have plenty of time.

Talking about visiting ...
... you may consider yourself very lucky if you get invited to someone's home in Switzerland. It probably means you haven't practised your sarcastic British humour on them (irony is totally lost on the Swiss) and you haven't asked them what they earn. You've known them for more than two years and during that time you haven't said anything provocative to begin a discussion!

So you arrive on time to discover you have been invited to a party with fifteen other guests ...
How long does it take to say 'Cheers' to seventeen people?
In England 'Cheers everybody', two seconds and then you get to drink?
In Germany it is similar: 'Zum Wohl allerseits' just a second longer.

In Switzerland names are very important.
"Zum Wohl," pause while you wait for eye contact and savour the name you are about to pronounce ...
"Ruedi" (Pronounce the letter 'e' separately)

"Zum Wohl," ...
"Hans-Ueli" (Don't forget the 'e')

"Zum Wohl," ...
"Päddy" (I thought Patrick was an Irish name!)

"Zum Wohl," ...
"Sabine" (Never, never pronounce the 'e'!!)

"Zum Wohl," ...
"Hampi" (Who would ever have guessed that that is Hans-Peter?)

"Zum Wohl," ...
"Chüde" (Kurt-Dieter!! Practice coughing up a hairball 'ch' and don't forget to pronounce the 'e'!)

After half an hour of eighteen individuals saying 'Zum Wohl' to seventeen individuals and if your drink hasn't evaporated in the meantime, you may now sip your drink.
It is best to concentrate hard when being introduced to people - they will always remember your name long after you have forgotten theirs.
If you are like me and forget names immediately, then you have to concentrate on the names the person next to you is saying and toast the same individual immediately afterwards ...

By the way - when visiting in Switzerland, it is usual to bring a present along with you.
I wouldn't recommend the 750g. bar of Toblerone.
Toblerone is now owned by Kraft, an American company and is, somehow, not quite as Swiss as it used to be!
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